I suffered a profound personal loss this week. It was unexpected and has shaken me hard. I’ve lost someone who was one of the “pillars” in my life. They were someone who shaped me as a person. Unknowingly I think they helped me on my path to becoming a writer. We shared a love of puns and played word games with each other, and we were always testing our vocabulary looking to find just the “right word” when we talked.
If I have any eloquence at all in expression, it’s in large part because of them. One thing that has comforted me is how proud they were of me for publishing Desert Ice in the first place. They never read the book or even knew what it was about. They were just proud I’d done it. They were also proud I was republishing it on my own. Our last conversation was about all the decisions I had left to make. This has doubly committed me to see this through. Ironically, I got the second draft of the cover art the day I found out they died. I told the artists I needed a few days before making any decisions. I’m also due to get back the manuscript the day after my loved one’s funeral. I know what they’d want me to do. Don’t pause. They’d want me to just keep moving forward. So that’s precisely what I’m going to do. People say there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Republishing Desert Ice has now become part of my process. RM
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Rose MaefairAuthor, geek, gamer, and avid coffee drinker. Archives
November 2022
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